Hetalia Chat
by The Rico Suave
Summary: The country's talk on chat! Lol, of course, Japan makes it really fun because he shows the photos he's trying to sell to Hungary
1. Chapter 1

_**Note: When Germany says "bruder" he means brother, he's just saying it the German way :D. Also, when I put *hearts*, I was trying to put the actual symbol, but when I saved it, all that came up was the three. T_T I don't like that about fanfiction. I also added the countries' names in brackets [], it's not really part of the IM conversation.  
><strong>_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia! D:**_

**__**

* * *

><p><p>

**Hetalia Chat**

_**AnimeNinja** requests you join Hetalia Chat_

[Japan]

_**YaoiFanGirl** has joined Hetalia Chat_

[Hungary]_  
><em>

**AnimeNinja:** Hello there, I have those new photos of Germany and Italia you wanted.

**YaoiFanGirl:** Eeep! Omg really!

**AnimeNinja:** Of course, now do you want the limited addition doujinshi as well, it's quite popular ;)

_**GermanPotatoes** has joined Hetalia Chat_

[Germany]_  
><em>

**GermanPotatoes:** What pictures!

**AnimeNinja:** From when I visited you last week, I was surprised, your the uke?

**GermanPotatoes:** What! *head-desks*

**GermanPotatoes:** Italia just showed up when I was showering! D:

**AnimeNinja:** And you expect me to belive that that was just him helping you _rinse and lather_.

**YaoiFanGirl:** *nose bleeds*

**GermanPotatoes:** Italia said he wanted to wash my back, BUT I REFUSED!

_**SexyPenetrator** has joined Hetalia Chat_

[France]_  
><em>

**SexyPenetrator:** Ohohohon, you two were in the shower ;)

_**KingAwesome** has joined Hetalia Chat_

[Prussia]_  
><em>

**KingAwesome:** Lol, West is uke!

**KingAwesome:** Well at least you got laid...so how was it? ;D

**GermanPotatoes:** BRUDER!

_**SexiestItalianEver** has joined Hetalia Chat_

[Romano]

**SexiestItalianEver:** What the Hell did you do to Feliciano!

**AnimeNinja:** Apparently this: *pictures*

**YaoiFanGirl:** *dies*

**AnimeNinja:** Don't die yet! You still haven't bought the new merchandise for FrUK! D:

**SexyPenetrator:** Ohohohon! Can you send me a couple dozen to me ;)

**SuperiorEnglishGentleman** has joined Hetalia Chat

[England]

**SuperiorEnglishGentleman:** WHAT!

**AnimeNinja: **You are quite the charmer when your drunk XD *pictures*

**SexyPenetrator:** *turned on*

**KingAwesome:** Nice ass ;D

**GermanPotatoes:** *facepalm*

**SexiestItalianEver:** Your all sick bastards T_T *is scarred for life*

**YaoiFanGirl:** Aw, how cute!^^

**SuperiorEnglishGentleman:** *hides under a rock and dies*

**AnimeNinja: **If you buy now, I'll throw in Prussia X Canada, it's become quite popular recently.

**YaoiFanGirl:** Yay! But too bad that Canadian's too cute for that ugly Prussian.

**KingAwesome:** STFU! I'M FUCKING SEXY AS HELL! Btw, who's Camada?

_**MapleLover** has joined Hetalia Chat_

_[Canada]  
><em>

**MapleLover:** It's CANADA!

_**HunkyHero** has joined Hetalia Chat_

[America]

**HunkyHero:** Hello everyone! Your lives just got better! :D

**SexiestItalianEver: **Idiot!

_**PastaKitty **has joined Hetalia Chat_

[Italy]

**PastaKitty:** Ve~ what are we talking about?

**AnimeNinja: **Do you still want to buy it, it all comes in a premium yaoi basket.^^

**YaoiFanGirl:** With the new Russia X China poster.^^

_**HelloKittyBabies **has joined Hetalia Chat_

[China]

**HelloKittyBabies: **Aru!

**AnimeNinja:** And the Germany X Italy: *poster image*

**YaoiFanGirl: ***dies of yaoiness*

**PastaKitty: **Doitsu, why are we naked? Are we playing docter, big brother France and I used to do that all the time when I was little, Ve~

**SexyPenetrator:** ;D

**SexiestItalianEver: **Stupid bastard brother!

**SuperiorEnglishGentleman: **Bloody Frog T^T

**HunkyHero: **I didn't know Germany was uke!

**GermanPotatoes:** FML!

**AnimeNinja:** I'll cut the price if you pay for shipping.

**YaoiFanGirl:** *comes back to life* Yay!

**AnimeNinja: **Would you like to purchase YaoiCon tickets as well.

**YaoiFanGirl:** They have that! *drools*

**KingAwesome: **No wonder she can't get a man!

**YaoiFanGirl:** STFU!

**HelloKittyBabies: **Japan, take down those posters Aru!

_**BecomeOneWithVodkaDa** has become one with Hetalia Chat_

[Russia]_  
><em>

**BecomeOneWithVodkaDa: **kolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolk

**HunkyHero:** I'll take 30 of them!

**MapleLover:** ...why?

**HunkyHero:** If it goes against that commie, then I'll do anything to bring him down! Do you accept checks Japan!

**SexiestItalianEver:** Dumbasses

**MapleLover:** You do know he's not a commie anymore -_-

_**Lovi's_Lover** has joined Hetalia Chat_

[Spain]_  
><em>

**Lovi's_Lover:** Lovi your too cute to be cursing like that *hearts*

**SexiestItalianEver: **WTF! CHANGE YOUR USERNAME NOW!

**Lovi's_Lover:** But Lovi~ I WUV U! \(^.^)/

**SexiestItalianEver:** FUCK YOU TOMATO BASTARD!

**SexyPenetrator:** You can't deny love hohohon *pulls rose out of nowhere sexually*

**SexiestItalianEver:** *Takes rose and shoves it up his ass!*

**SexiestItalianEver:** Dickwad!

**SexyPenetrator: **How about I work that the other way around with you ;D

**SexiestItalianEver: **FUCK OFF PERVERT!

**SuperiorEnglishGentleman:** Horny bloody frog, don't you ever think about things that don't relate to sex?

**Lovi's_Lover: **Are you Lovi's Lover, no, so back off! He's my cute little tomato! \(=w=)/

**SexiestItalianEver:** STFU! I'm not cute! I accept handsome, hot, or sexy, but I am not cute damnit!

**SexyPenetrator:** Aw, Angleterre. Your jealous^w^

**SuperiorEnglishGentleman:** Fuck you!

**SexyPenetrator:** Anytime ;)

**AnimeNinja:** Buy now and I'll also through in Spamano pictures.

**YaoiFanGirl:** Yay Yaoi! \(^.^)/

**SexiestItalianEver:** STFU!

**KingAwesome:** I'M AWESOME!

**GermanPotatoes:** ...?

**HelloKittyBabies:** Why blurt that out randomly aru?

**KingAwesome:** Cuz I amz Awesome!

**GermanPotatoes:** *facepalm*

**HunkyHero:** I'M SEXY! FUCK YEAH!

**SexiestItalianEver:** Asshole T_T

**PastaKitty:** PAAAASTA! 3

_**BestAsianPower** has joined Hetalia Chat_

[Korea]_  
><em>

**BestAsianPower:** All your boobies belong to me now! :D

**SuperiorEnglishGentleman:** How many bloody perverts are there!

**AnimeNinja: **There's even one of Romano in a school girl uniform!^^ *photo*

**YaoiFanGirl:** Moemoemoemoemoemoemoemoe

SexiestItalianEver: WHAT THE FUCK!

**Lovi's_Lover:** Oh, you look so cute Lovi~

**SexyPenetrator:** Ohohoho showing a lot of skin are we ;D

**KingAwesome:** Your acting like such a tease in that outfit ;)

YaoiFanGirl: *hearts*

PastaKitty: You look pretty Romano Ve~ *heart*

BecomeOneWithVodkaDa: Become one, da? *heart*

_**TotallyFab** has joined Hetalia Chat_

[Poland]

**TotallyFab:** Like Omg! I'm so like jealous of that uniform! It looks so fabtabulous! *heart*

**BestAsianPower:** I claim your boobies as mine *heart* :D

**Lovi's_Lover:** Back off! They're mine!

**BestAsianPower:** And Anki's too!

**HelloKittyBabies: **Aru! *runs away*

**BestAsianPower:** *chases after him*

**BecomeOneWithVodkaDa:** I can get him (^J^)*grabs steal pipe*

**MapleLover:** Can't we, as countries of the world, try to keep peace? -_-

**HunkyHero:** Who are you?

**MapleLover: **CANADA!

**HunkyHero:** Huh?

**MapleLover: **YOUR BROTHER!

**HunkyHero:** Idk who you are :D

**SexiestItalianEver:** *facepalm* FAIL!

**SexyPenetrator:** Canada's right. We as nations should try to keep peace and spread l'amour.

**PastaKitty: **Big brother France is right, we should all be friends Ve~

**SexyPenetrator:** Yes, let's spread l'amour!

**SuperiorEnglishGentleman:** I guess the frog made a pretty good point...T_T

**SexyPenetrator: **Yes! Now let's start with some friendly interaction, let's have one big orgy!

**SuperiorEnglishGentleman:** And I take that back, stupid bloody frog!

**YaoiFanGirl:** *drooling of yaoiness*

**PastaKitty:** Is that like playing docter ve~

**GermanPotatoes:** No partaking in vulgar actions!

**BecomeOneWithVodkaDa:** Everyone become one, da?

**HelloKittyBabies: **Not after I tried to get that restraining order against you!

**BestAsianPower:** Yay! I can take everyone's boobies!

**MapleLover: **...

**HunkyHero: **Wait! I remember you now!

**SexiestItalianEver:** 1.)PERVERTED BASTARD , 2.) (pointing to America) once again, FAIL!

**KingAwesome:** Not after that night with you and Spain x_x

**Lovi's_Lover:** I'd rather just have Lovi all to myself *hearts*

**SexiestItalianEver:** Your a sick pervert!

**AnimeNinja:** Hmmmm, I wonder how much Hungary-san would pay for a video of that *calculates numbers*

**YaoiFanGirl:** A LOT!

**TotallyFab: **Like no way. That would be totally like not cute!

_**KoolKittehKittehLickLick** has joined Hetalia Chat_

[Greece]

**KingAwesome:** Who the hell is KoolKittehKittehLickLick

**KoolKittehKittehLickLick:** Me

**SexiestItalianEver:** No shit T_T

**AnimeNinja:** Greece-san?

**KoolKittehKittehLickLick:** Yup

**AnimeNinja: **Since when do you have an account?

**KoolKittehKittehLickLick:** Since just now.

**TotallyFab: **Like totally add me as a friend.

**PastaKitty:** Ve~ I like your name *heart*

**KoolKittehKittehLickLick:** Thank you...but now I forgot why I came on =3=

**KoolKittehKittehLickLick:** Oh, right, when are we going to continue the meeting?

**GermanPotatoes:** Oh right!

**KoolKittehKittehLickLick:** I've been sleeping in front of the podium for awhile now. I was suppose to give my speech today, but no one was there :'[

**SuperiorEnglishGentleman:** FUCK, we forgot about the meeting!

**KoolKittehKittehLickLick:** Yeah and one more thing...

**SuperiorEnglishGentleman: **What?

**KoolKittehKittehLickLick:** I sorta ate all the donuts for todays meeting :I

**HunkyHero:** NOOOO!

**HelloKittyBabies:** NOT THE DONUTS ARU!

**BecomeOneWithVodkaDa:** Kolkolkolkolk

**SexiestItalianEver:** YOU EVIL BASTARD!

**AnimeNinja:** Greece-san, this is most unacceptable D:

**KoolKittehKittehLickLick:** The kitties made me do it o_e'

* * *

><p><em><strong>THE KITTIES MADE ME DO IT!<strong>_

_**Sorry I haven't updated England the Exploradora, but I'm really at a block with that story. But I will overcome! And if you're mad about it, don't worry, my editor has been constantly hitting me every chance she gets! x(  
><strong>_

_**Lol, hope you guys enjoyed that. Something I should add is that these nations were having a private meeting. They were all going to discuss a topic that just concerned these nations. So I thought I might add that on, just in case if you were wondering why no one else showed up to the meeting if there are more nations than just the nations above. I hope you understood that.**_ :I

_**Afterwords, the nations were pissed at Greece for eating all the donuts. Especially America, he was looking forward to the meeting all week because of that! Well they should learn not to abandon Greece :3**_

_**So who else wants to purchase yoai from Japan, he's got gold right there with that picture of England and the other of Romano XD. He most make a fortune out of selling this stuff to Hungary.  
><strong>_

_**Just before I leave off, who's username did you like the most?  
><strong>_

_**I really wanna know ;D  
><strong>_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia!**_

* * *

><p><strong>Hetalia Chat<strong>

_**TotallyFab** has joined Hetalia Chat_

_**Russia's_Ho1** has joined Hetalia Chat_

[Lithuania]

**TotallyFab:** OMG! Like your name is like not cute! What the hell! Did Russia make you do that!

**Russia's_Ho1:** He said I had to change it to this, I can't believe he treats me like this -_-' Thanks for your concern Pol

**TotallyFab:** Like WTF! You wouldn't change your name when I asked you to put it as Poland's_Bitch D:

**Russia's_Ho1:** THAT'S WHAT YOUR CONSERNED ABOUT?

**TotallyFab:** Like duh! You'll be his ho, but you won't be my bitch! What kind of friend are you, ugh!

**TotallyFab:** It's because you hate me isn't it ;~; You'd rather be with that ugly, unfantabulous Russian who like totally has split ends! And is like totally not me D':

_**BecomeOneWithVodkaDa** has become one with Hetalia Chat_

**BecomeOneWithVodkaDa:** Kolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkol It least my hair's real, you incompetent blond. Fake bitch (^J^)

**Russia's_Ho1:** Can you guys not fight please? ^-^"

**TotallyFab:** Like HELL I WON'T! That ugly motherfucker did _not_ just curse me out!

**Russia's_Ho1:** Please Pol, I don't think I can help you if you get in trouble with the police again for talking trash on the internet -_-' Remember how you almost made that kid commit suicide?

**TotallyFab:** That kid was a total loser, like, you do not match that skirt with that top! He looked like a bad tranny prostitute or like something! Plus, Russia looks like Justin Bieber on steroids, but uglier!

**BecomeOneWithVodkaDa:** *grabs pipe* Let's play game, da? (^J^)

**TotallyFab:** Like, I INVOKE POLAND RULE ON YOUR ASS! I LIKE TOTALLY WON THE GAME BITCHES! :D

**Russia's_Ho1:** Pol, you can't use Poland Rule here -_-

**BecomeOneWithVodkaDa:** Da, you will be crushed to dust like the empty headed blond you are (^J^)

**TotallyFab:** Like screw you're like, obviously your jealous that Liet's my bitch instead of yours

**Russia's_Ho1:** I'm not a material object that you can own! So stop fighting over me like I am!

**BecomeOneWithVodkaDa:** Nyet, your are my ho. Listen you Polish imbecile, Lithuania is mine. And he will only get on his knees for me, da?

**Russia's_Ho1:** Mr. Russia!

**TotallyFab:** THE HELL HE WILL! But at least he like _wants_ to fuck me into the mattress! ;D

**TotallyFab:** Cuz, you know, he finds my ass, like, cuter than yours:)

**Russia's_Ho1:** O.O Pol!

**BecomeOneWithVodkaDa:** Do you want to die, da? (^J^)

**TotallyFab:** At least I'd die the hottest bitch there was ;D

_**HunkyHero** has joined Hetalia Chat_

**HunkyHero:** What's the commie doing on the hero chat? D:

**Russia's_Ho1:** He's not a commie anymore Mr. America and this is Hetalia Chat.

**HunkyHero:** AND HE BRINGS HIS HOES HERE! I will not stand for this! Hero time!

**TotallyFab:** Let's beat his ass! )D

**BecomeOneWithVodkaDa:** Bring it, da? (^J^)

**Russia's_Ho1:** *sigh* will they ever learn?

_**Russia's_Ho2** has joined Hetalia Chat_

[Estonia]

**Russia's_Ho2:** Most likely not, so I suggest to stay out of it.

_**Russia's_Ho3** has joined Hetalia Chat_

[Latvia]

**Russia's_Ho3:** I don't get why we're his hoes if we're no longer his subordinates :'[

**BecomeOneWithVodkaDa:** Nyet, you will always be my ho's.

**HunkyHero:** No fear, THE HERO IS HERE!

_**YaoiPan:** has joined Hetalia Chat_

[Hungary]_  
><em>

**YaoiPan:** Aw, but Lithuania, there's three guys fighting over you ^.^

**Russia's_Ho1:** I don't really think so... -_-

**HunkyHero:** Don't worry Lithuania, I will save you like the damsel in distress you are!

**Russia's_Ho1:** Is that suppose to be a complement?

**BecomeOneWithVodkaDa:** Stupid American, you cannot win against Russia, or is your IQ lower than Poland?

**TotallyFab:** Your like obviously jealous that I'm smexier than you!

**HunkyHero:** FUCK YOU RUSSIA!

**BecomeOneWithVodkaDa:** Nyet, in Mother Russia, RUSSIA FUCKS YOU!

**HunkyHero:** BRING IT!

**YoaiFanGirl:** YAOI! *nosebleeds*

**HunkyHero:** Wait! That came out wrong!

**YaoiPan:** I'm sure it did ;)

**HunkyHero:** I DO NOT WANT TO FUCK RUSSIA!

**BecomeOneWithVodkaDa:** But apparently, you want me to fuck you (^J^)

**BecomeOneWithVodkaDa:** Become one, da? =^.^=

_**AnimeNinja** has joined Hetalia Chat_

**AnimeNinja:** I have the new RussiaxAmerica merchandise if a certain yaoi obsessed country would like to buy it ^^

**YaoiFanGirl:** Yes!

**AnimeNinja:** With a 10% discount not including tax ^.^

**HunkyHero:** Dude!

**Russia's_Ho2:** Are you always selling her merchandise every chance you get?

**AnimeNinja:** I prefer using the phrase, spreading the yaoi to the world

**AnimeNinja:** Plus, I've come to rely on Hungary-sans purchase of yaoi so much, that if I stop selling her yaoi now, my economy would fall or something much worse, and I would die. Because of everyone's interference of our last business meeting, I didn't sell yaoi to her for awhile, and thus, I had a huge earthquake and tsunami that hurt me very badly. You guys nearly killed me.

**YaoiFanGirl:** And me! I had to live without new yaoi! D':

**HunkyHero:** So your blaming all of us for what happened to you!

**AnimeNinja:** Yes.

**BecomeOneWithVodkaDa: **Kolkolkolkolkolkol

**AnimeNinja:** By the way, do you want PolLiet as well? ^^

**YaoiFanGirl:** YESSSSS!

**Russia's_Ho1:** Mr. Japan can you please not sell such profound pictures of me and Poland!

**AnimeNinja:** That request cannot be completed, but I can give a 50% discount^^

**Russia's_Ho1:** That doesn't help at all! TAT

**TotallyFab:** Like does my hair look cute in the pictures? If not I want them taken down. Like I do not want to look ugly and like fat. I don't look fat right?

**HunkyHero:** I don't look fat either right! I've been on my new diet for awhile now.

**BecomeOneWithVodkaDa:** Of course not, you have a nice firm ass (^J^)

_**SexyPenetrator** has joined Hetalia Chat_

**SexyPenetrator:** HOHOHOHO, who has le nice ass ;)

**BecomeOneWithVodkaDa:** America. A his nice fat ass

**SexyPenetrator:** Ohohohohohoho

**HunkyHero:** IT"S NOT FAT!

**SexyPenetrator:** Yes it is ;)

**YaoiFanGirl:** Don't worry sweetie, lots of guys love a nice large piece of ass |D

**HunkyHero:** I'm not fat! Just big boned!

**AnimeNinja:** Not to worry America-san, I will reduce the size of your glutenous maximus on photoshop ^^

**BecomeOneWithVodkaDa:** Become my ho, da? (^J^)

**BecomeOneWithVodkaDa:** You can relplace Lithuania as my #1 ho :D

**Russia's_Ho1:** Hey!

**BecomeOneWithVodkaDa:** So you like being my ho, da?

**TotallyFab:** *gasp* =O

**Russia's_Ho1:** N-no! I just don't want to be #2 :I

**Russia's_Ho2:** Hey! 2 is awesome! At least it's better than 3!

**Russia's_Ho3:** TTATT

**BecomeOneWithVodkaDa:** Don't worry, you're all still my ho's, no matter what number you are! Like america will be kolkolkolkol~

**HunkyHero:** SCREW YOU COMMIE!

**SexyPenetrator:** I wanna screw you all ohohoho ;D

_**Me+Gun=YourFucked** has joined Hetalia Chat_

[Switzerland]

**Me+Gun=YourFucked:** YOU MOTHERFUCKERS BETTER STOP TROLLING BEFORE I BEAT YOUR ASSES! YOU ARE ALL UGLY, FAT, BITCHES, SLUTS, AND HOES! SO GO GET BENT!

**TotallyFab:** So you do think I look fat! D':

* * *

><p><em><strong>Hello there! How'd you guy's like this new chapter? It was pretty fun to write, the Poland, Lithuania, and Russia of our group actually recited the first few lines of this XD<strong>_

_**It was pretty funny, anyways what did you guys think, I really like feed back ^^ **_

_**I should be doing my hw so before I go, any new favorite username****? :D**_


End file.
